Dawn of the Eds/Script
is fiddling with a rope and Ed. Eddy: "Ed? Ed?" exasperated "Will you quit moving around?" sweetly "Oh, Ed." Ed: "Yes, Eddy?" Eddy: Ed's nose "STAND STILL!" rope gets tied around Ed. The other end goes around a tree limb. Edd approaches Ed with plastic wrap. Edd: "This will protect you from any disgusting or unsavory life forms you may encounter." wraps Ed from head to toe in the plastic wrap. Ed: "Cool." snorkel is shoved in his mouth. "Cool!" Eddy: "Okay Double D, let's pull!" sounds of them straining are heard, and Ed begins to lift off the ground. "PULL!" Edd: straining "Ed weighs a ton." Eddy: "I'm getting a hernia. Hey, Ed! How's it look?" Ed: unintelligible "Mur murr, grr growf." leaves and studies the angles. Ed signals that he's in position. Ed: unintelligible "I'm okay. I'm okay." Eddy: Edd, although no longer helping "A little lower...c'mon, Double D. Easy now. Lower..." strength gives out and Ed drops into the dumpster. "Perfect!" is seen swimming through the muck of garbage. Eddy: "Think of the treasure, Double D! Hmm?" pausing "I wonder how long he can stay down there?" Edd: "Well, according to the Particle Ratio of–" line goes taught, smashing him against the tree limb. Eddy: "That's the signal!" grabs Edd's legs and pulls on them, pulling Ed out of the dumpster. Edd: "Hey!" Eddy: the rope "Bring him over...easy now..." Ed "Any luck, burrhead?" Ed: to understand "Oh, yeah!" holds up 7 soda bottles and a test tube on his fingers. Eddy: "YES!" releases the rope Edd and Eddy: "Woohoo we're rich! Poised for jawbreakers! All right!" lands on them, interrupting their celebration. Ed: unintelligible "Woohoo! Now we can buy jawbreakers!" ---- walks down the Lane, still plastic-wrapped. Edd and Eddy follow in his wake. Eddy: "We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks." Edd: "Actually Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth." Eddy: wanting to admit Edd's right "Ah, you don't know what you're talking about. Whaddya think, Ed?" Ed isn't with them "Ed? Ed?" has fallen behind, and is staring at a poster taped to the fence. Eddy: "ED?" runs up "Ed. Hey!" snaps his fingers, breaking Ed of his trance. "What's clogged up your brain, Ed?" Ed: "That. See?" points to the poster, which is advertising a movie. "Robot Rebel Ranch!" the ad "Marooned on a distant planet. Visitors in the void. No escape." sees a small box in the lower right corner reading "Adults Only." "AAAAAAAAHHHH!" covers it up "It's not fair!" slumps against the fence "If only I were older." Edd: "Don't worry, Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year." Ed: "Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out." Eddy: "Don't sweat it, guys. Where there's a will, there's a scam. The first thing we do is we cash in these babies for ticket money." Ed's hand, jingling the bottles "ONWARDS, SPACE MONKEYS!" ---- Eds are balanced on a bike, speeding towards the theatre. Ed: "Whoa. This is the coolest movie." Eddy: "Since I'm the most mature looking, I'll go in first. Double D can be my wife." Edd: a revolted face "Ed's taller, I think he should." Ed: "Tell you that the story begins–" form in his mind "–with three space outlaws, who crash-land on a robot planet." Edd: "Amazing!" Ed: "Shock-O-Rama." Eddy: "R-rated." Ed: go of the handlebars "And they have to fight off the robots, but, they also must try to escape back to earth, or the robots will grind their bones to bits." bike goes off a small cliff. "When the three spacemen lose control of their ship, and hurtle into a field of asteroids–" wrecking ball goes by, almost hitting them. None of the Eds notice. "–that almost crush them into space dust. They're sucked–" bike enters a pipe. The Eds are still oblivious. "–into a dimensional time portal that transports them to the robot planet." pipe ends, and the Eds fall to earth. They land in a strange landscape full of trash. Ed: his monologue "The heroes find their ship destroyed." shot of the broken bike is shown "They're marooned on the robot planet." Eddy: "Hey look!" Ed: "Whoa!" their heads, a car is lifted up by a crane with a magnet on the end. The magnet releases the car right in front of the Eds. The Eds: "Cool." begins demolishing the car "Not cool! Not cool!" ---- shot of a pink Cadillac, sitting on top of a garbage heap, is shown. The camera then shifts to the hood of the car. Ed and Ed are seen peering out from the passenger seat, ready to hide instantly. Eddy is cowering behind the steering wheel. Eddy: "We gotta get out of here!" Edd: "I have an idea." pulls a spring out of the upholstery and fashions it into a makeshift headset. He then tries to dial in a station on the radio. "Come in Earth. Come in Earth." agitated "Come in Earth repeat come in Earth!" receiving a reply "No response. THERE'S NO RESPONSE!" Eddy: "Are you saying... WE'RE STRANDED?" shakes Edd Ed: the movie's setup "Then, there's not much time, before the cold robot planet nights squeeze the life out of us." up, making a proclamation "WE MUST FIND SHELTER!" word "Shelter" echoes as the camera pans out to show the utter desolation of the scrapyard. ---- runs through a section of the junkyard. Ed: to his friends "C'mon! C'mon! Not much farther now." Eddy: weary "You said that an hour ago, Ed." Edd: "What are we looking for again?" Ed: "A cave! The first thing the space outlaws find is a cave, to protect them from–" Eddy: "Yeah, yeah." to be scared "The frozen robot planet nights." normally "We're never gonna find–huh?" eyes alight on a van. "Hey!" The Eds: over to the van "Cool." opens the doors on the back and jumps in. The other two Eds look in to see him lounging on a waterbed. Ed: "Cool." Eddy: "Hey guys, c'mon in! Enjoy the genuine shag carpeting, and the waterbed!" goes up to the front, and blows the horn. "La Cucaracha" plays. Eddy: "Boys, welcome to central command." and Edd heave sighs of relief. ---- Eds are racing through the graveyard, wearing weird armor. Edd: "Prepare for your eminent capture, Eddy!" Ed: "Yeah!" Eddy: "You'll never take me!" leaps behind a trash heap. Neither Ed nor Edd see this, and they look for him. Ed: "Where did he go? Where did he go?" Eddy: out "Prepare to meet your doom!" pulls out a pair of fuzzy dice and uses them like nunchucks. and Edd watch as he plays with them. Then, simultaneously, they pull out ray guns. Eddy: "AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Eds pretend to shoot at each other, making "bing" noises. Eddy throws his dice at Ed. Eddy: at Edd "HA! Missed me! You lose! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Ed: top of a trash mountain "Hey guys, come up here." camera shows Kevin and the Kankers. Kevin is tied to a tire, and the Kankers seem to be taunting him. May: jovial "Let's spin him again! Lee!" Kevin: bored "Get away from me." Lee: "Tell us. For 200, what color's your underwear." spins the tire. Kevin: spinning "Thiiiiissss iiiiissssss ssssstttttuuuuupppiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddd!" The Kankers: "EEH! WRONG!" laugh until Lee puts her foot out and stops the wheel. Kevin is left hanging upside down. Kevin: muttering "Dumb girls... what color is my–sheesh." The Kankers: "Oh Kevin!" looks as though she's about to kiss him. Ed: "Stay back! Hideous, life-sucking aliens have captured a fellow space outlaw! Which of the three brave explorers would take the risk to save him? I WILL SAVE HIM! FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Edd and Eddy: "STOP ED!" lose their balance and tumble down the hill. May: "My turn!" Ed: down the mountain "Release him, evil space mutants!" The Kankers: by Ed's appearance "What is that?" Ed: towards them "YOW!" Marie: Ed heads for them "Run for it, girls!" Ed: "Do not panic, fellow space outlaw! I have come to rescue you." Kevin: "Just get me down, you–" unties him, and he falls to the ground. "Goo." up, sarcastically "What are you supposed to be?" Ed: "Uh–I–I am a fearless space outlaw!" Kevin: "Yeah, right. Space DORK!" Ed: confused "Dork?" and Eddy finish their tumble and run into him. Eddy: a pile of garbage with the other two Eds "Did you save our fellow space outlaw?" Ed: "Yes, he was most grateful." sudden roaring sound is heard, petrifying the three Eds. Edd: "What?" Eddy: "Huh? What was that?" Ed: "Robot bounty hunters." ---- is looking through a tin can with both lids cut off, using it as a telescope which leaves him with black mark on his eye. A noise startles him. Ed: "Huh?" roar is heard. He darts from trash pile to trash pile before rushing out. Ed: "Prepare to be terminated, solar scum! Yow!" comes upon something. We only see it's shadow, however. It seems to be vaguely human in shape, and it is very large, judging by the shadow's length. The camera zooms in for a close-up of Ed's frightened face, and then only his eye, before it goes white. ---- is pacing back and forth, worried, when he hears a scream in the distance. Ed: "NAAAA!" Eddy: "Ed? Hmm." becomes more worried. We then see Edd working on some sort of rocket. Ed: again "WAYOO!" Eddy: "Double D! Did you hear that? They're closer now." to the rocket "Hey! Is this thing ready yet?" Edd: "Well, actually Eddy, since it's just a prototype, and still in need of–" gets in "Eddy!" Eddy: "There's only one seat in this thing. Why'd ya just put in one seat, Double D?" Edd: "Well I told you. This is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one." Eddy: "Yeah whatever. Let's go, Double D. Liftoff!" Edd: "But Eddy, I still need to–" Eddy: "Double D, FIRE THE ROCKET!" Edd: "Fine. But you better wear this." puts a colander on Eddy's head. gets the rocket ready. Apparently the pressure is added through a foot pump. Eddy: "Oh yeah." Edd: sighing "3. 2. 1. Ignition!" fires the rocket. Eddy: the rocket heads up into the sky "YEEEEE–HAAAAAAAWWW!" rocket disintegrates around him, and he's left sitting in a chair in midair. "WAAAAAAAA!" Edd: calmly "Oh, better test the parachute." parachute opens "Well, at least that worked." tosses the parachute remote to the ground, and the button is pressed. The parachute subsequently detaches from the chair, sending Eddy plummeting to Earth again. Eddy: "WAAAAAAA!" lands on Edd "Hey Double D, the rocket needs work." Edd: exasperated "IT'S A PROTOTYPE!!!" ---- rushes up. Ed: "The robots are coming! The robots are coming!" Edd and Eddy: "Huh?" turn to see two giant robots appear out of nowhere. The trio run away screaming. ---- Eds are hiding in the van. Ed: the scene "The planet seemed eerily calm, as the approach of the robot bounty hunters was awaited fearlessly by the three brave outlaws." and Eddy are seen huddled beside him, quivering in fear. Eddy: "Is Ed for real?" Ed: him, he looks out again to see the robots. "They approach." peeps out. He holds three fingers in front of Edd and Eddy. He then lowers one, signaling two. The countdown reaches one, and then Ed gives the command. Ed: "ATTACK!" Eds fire their guns as Eddy throws grenades. Miraculously, this seems to work. Ed: descriptions "Vaporizing thermal grenades! Quasic terra lasers! Sub-atomic blasters!" robots are shown taking damage. "HIT EM HARD!" camera shifts from the Eds point of view to show that the robots are in fact Jimmy and Sarah, and that the Eds are throwing tin cans at the duo. Sarah: "ED!" Eds pause, and one last can hits Jimmy. Sarah: up to them "What the heck are you guys DOING?" Ed, Edd, and Eddy: "Uh...nothing?" Sarah: Ed's jacket "You have to come home, Ed. It's time for dinner." Jimmy "C'mon, Jimmy." stands up, two lumps on his head. He follows Sarah as fast as he can. Eddy: "Yeah, dinner sounds good. I'm hungry." Ed: standing by the vehicle "Only one was left alive after the horrible battle. Wounded and stranded, would he ever get off the robot planet? Would he ever get home?" camera shifts to show Edd and Eddy waiting impatiently for him to finish. "Would he–" grabs him and drags him away "Oh no! Betrayed by his own comrades!" Eddy: the screen goes black "Ed, shut up." Category:Scripts Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Scripts